Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
