U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
