Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I feel like death gave me a hand job
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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