You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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