What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
