And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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