In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
