this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
