She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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