wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
