idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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