I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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