He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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