The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
