If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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