either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
