So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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