we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
