i just google imaged poop.
I looked at my own cervix.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
