nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
