I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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