I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
so explain again why im purple
no
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Randomize
