So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
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