after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
