shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
