mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
