Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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