I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize
