I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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