So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
