I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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