More tranny stories later!
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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