We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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