you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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