the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Randomize
