Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
