So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
