I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Randomize
