you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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