Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
