whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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