Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
