member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
