i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
