im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
