i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
