I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
she smelled like a LAN party
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
