I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
