He uses pillows to masturbate.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
