I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
