i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
